How to Create a Magical Relationship

There are a lot of books on the market that attempt to teach you how to improve your relationship by working on it, but only one which promises that the best results will come by not working on it at all. In How to Create A Magical Relationship (revised edition), Ariel and Shya Kane explain how the three principles of their technology of Instantaneous Transformation™ can help to completely transform your relationship while you do absolutely nothing towards making any changes.
How can this be?

The Kanes, who have been married for over 20 years, realized during a rocky time early in their marriage, that the more they tried to work on themselves and each other, the worse the bickering between them would become. They had been through the gamut of self-help classes, yoga, meditation, counseling, etc., but found that they were still at odds with themselves and each other. Their last attempt was a workshop which ran seven days a week, 24 hours a day for six months, which completely wiped them out both financially and emotionally. One day shortly afterward, while walking up a hill in San Francisco, returning from the beach to their rented room, Shya suddenly realized that he was already living in what Zen matsers would call a "self-realized" state and he declared in that moment that he was "done" working on himself. He immediately stopped picking on himself and Ariel, and she followed suit. Not only did the bickering stop once and for all, they also discovered a depth of compassion for each other that they had never before experienced, and which they find continues to grow ever deeper and stronger over time.The Kanes have since devoted their lives to developing and teaching the principles of their remarkable discovery, known as Instantaneous Transformation™, so that others, too, can learn how to create and maintain the same magical relationship that they have been enjoying with each other for years.

The Kanes define Transformation as what happens when you discover how to live in the moment. To this end, the Kanes have developed what they call the Three Principles of Transformation:

Principle #1. Anything you resist persists and grows stronger. This principle explains how trying to change an unwanted behavior usually results in perpetuating the behavior.

Principle #2. No two things can occupy the same space at the same time. This principle basically means that anything that has ever happened, could only have happened exactly the way that it happened, because that is how it happened. When fully understood, this principle of accepting the past, warts and all, removes the feelings of both guilt and resentment that can ruin a relationship.

Principle #3. Anything that you allow to be exactly as it is without trying to change or fix it, will complete itself. This principle states that simple awareness of an unwanted behavior is enough to stop the behavior once and for all. The Kanes use walking through a darkened livingroom as an example, whereby with the lights out, you can't see the furniture and end up tripping over it. Once you turn the lights on, however (awareness), you can see exactly where the furniture is and you can easily navigate through the room without bumping into things.

In How to Create A Magical Relationship, the Kanes explain all of the above principles and how they pertain to your relationships through a series of examples taken from their own personal experiences as well as the from the experiences of people whom they've counseled over the years. Included also are various exercises designed to heighten your awareness in the moment that can easily be incorporated into your daily routine. Even if you've already read the first edition of How To Create A Magical Relationship (originally titled Working On Your Relationship Doesn't Work) the revised edition explains many of the concepts in greater detail and is well worth reading through again.

An interesting and enjoyable read, the writing is amazingly light considering the profoundly transformative principles that are being discussed. How to Create A Magical Relationship is truly a masterpiece of the self-help genre and is destined to become the first "line of defense" for troubled relationships.